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Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex by Mary Roach

04 Thursday Jun 2009

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Bonk by Mary Roach

Bonk by Mary Roach

Anyone close to me will know that I talk pretty openly about sex, not only because I enjoy participating, but also because it is a subject that I find immensely fascinating.  I could totally see myself becoming a sex therapist one day.  So when I heard that Mary Roach had written a book on sexual studies, I was dancing with anticipation.  Of course, cheap bastard that I am, I had to wait until it came out in paperback before I actually bought it (though after leaving my first copy on the roof of my car and having to buy another one, it turns out I would have been better off buying it sooner in hardcover).  At any rate, I was not disappointed.  This book had me alternately giggling out loud and uttering thoughtful exclamations of, “Huh!”  Roach really is the queen of investigative literature.

Bonk explores a wide spectrum of questions about sex and sexuality:  Is masturbation good for you?  Does female orgasm serve a purpose?  Why can’t some men get it up?  It takes the reader through centuries of sex research, dating from the ancient Greek belief that conception involved a mingling of male and female ejaculate, all the way up to today’s high-tech female version of the penis pump.  I really enjoyed the footnotes, which, though usually off-topic, were extremely informative and hilarious.

This book also casts light on the difficulties involved in researching sex.  How does one perform sexual studies without coming off as a pervert?  Even today it’s a very difficult thing to do, and sex research labs often find themselves strapped for support and/or funding.  It’s amazing that we’ve discovered as much as we have.  Yet, even with all the remaining stigmas, there are still those brave souls who have taken it as their duty to make sex not only more understood, but more pleasurable as well.  Great big huge thanks to all of them!

My only issue with this book was that the chapters seemed to ramble from one subject to the next.  First Roach would be talking about one study, and then branch off into a totally different study, without any really obvious goal.  It was difficult to keep straight which studies had come out successfully, and which were proven false by further research.

Altogether, I thoroughly enjoyed Bonk, and can’t wait for Roach’s next book.  This time I’ll even buy it in hardcover.

Pygmy by Chuck Palahniuk

13 Wednesday May 2009

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Pygmy by Chuck Palahniuk

Pygmy by Chuck Palahniuk

Finally, I got around to reading and reviewing a recent book.  Feels good to be with the times.  Though I have to admit that I wouldn’t have gone anywhere near the new releases table if I hadn’t been anxiously anticipating this book for the past year.  Ol’ Chuck is one of the few authors whose entire bibliography I’ve taken the time to read.  He has rarely disappointed me.  I was nervous about this novel, because his previous novel Snuff was one of those rare disappointments.  Fortunately, Pygmy was mostly satisfying.  I’m glad that I picked it up right away.

Pygmy is told by a boy raised in an unnamed totalitarian state, conditioned to hate capitalism and everything else American, and trained as an elite operative in a secret plot to wreak havoc upon the US.  Masquerading as a foreign exchange student, Pygmy and his fellow operatives work together to implement Operation Havoc.  What follows is an exaggerated commentary on American culture that is by turns hilarious, sickening, and sobering.

I was initially a little turned off of this book by the language.  It reads like it was written by a person who has memorized the English dictionary, but who has had no instruction in English grammar.  It took a little while to get used to.  Here’s an example:

“Only one step with foot, operative me to defile security of degenerate American snake nest.  Den of evil.  Hive of corruption.  Host family of operative me waiting, host arms elbow bent to flutter host fingers in attention of this agent.  Host family shouting, arms above with wiggling finger.”

Yes, the entire book is written like that.  There were a lot of paragraphs I had to go back and re-read, and that was a little bit frustrating.  But after the first couple chapters, the narrator’s dialect is more familiar, and it’s a little easier to get through.

It’s easy to love our misguided narrator, Pygmy.  Despite his anti-American, no-mercy training, he has a soft heart.  He also has a rather dark sense of humor.  He’s not a robot terrorist.  He’s very human.

This novel says a lot about the absurdity of American habits and customs, but it says an equal amount about the absurdity of anti-American factions who believe that we’re the devil.  Both sides are comically exaggerated, but there is a biting tang of truth contained within.  It’s not an anti-American novel (though it seems like a lot of readers have been disappointed by that).  It skirts being actual social commentary, and ends up being…well…just a novel.  And I am happy with that.  If I want blistering social commentary, I’ll pick up the opinion page of my local paper.

It took me until the very end (like, seriously, the very last page) to figure out if I liked Pygmy or not.  I couldn’t tell how Palahniuk would choose to end things, and it almost seemed like it was a snap decision on his part.  I won’t say how it ends, but I wouldn’t be surprised if there was an alternate final page floating around in Chuck’s personal notes.  Up until that point, it seemed like things could go either way.  I was satisfied with the ending, though, and it swung my Enjoy-O-Meter slightly into the Enjoyment zone.

I do think that Pygmy falls short of the high bar set by of some of Palahniuk’s earlier work.  I think he would have a hard time topping Lullaby or Choke.  While the broken English format was amusing, it was unnecessary and took away from the story.  That was my main complaint.  But Pygmy wasn’t bad, and I’m not sorry I picked it up.  Couldn’t say the same for Snuff.

Geek Love by Katherine Dunn

06 Wednesday May 2009

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Geek Love by Katherine Dunn

Geek Love by Katherine Dunn

If you judged by the title, you would probably think that Geek Love was a romance about Dungeons and Dragons or hacking.  Yeah, it’s not.  I’ll tell you right now, there is little to no romance in this novel, and the word “geek” doesn’t mean what you probably think it means.  Did you know that the word geek used to mean a performer who bit the heads off chickens or other small animals?  Yeah, I didn’t.  It confused me a little at first.

Geek Love chronicles the life and trials of the Binewski family.  Having inherited a failing carnival from his father, Al Binewski decides to take matters into his own hands by genetically engineering his own freak show offspring.  Experiments on his wife with radiation and poisons yield up Arturo the Aqua Boy, Siamese twins Electra and Iphigenia, Olympia the hunchbacked albino dwarf, and Fortunato (otherwise known as Chick) whose specialties aren’t so immediately apparent.  We see the traveling carnival through Olympia’s eyes:  the redheaded girls who run the midway; the gradual transition of power from Al to Arty, as the Aqua Boy gains a faithful following of his own; the dueling personalities of the musical twins; Chick’s potentially devastating power counterbalanced by his wish to please everyone, and his fear of doing harm.  As the children grow up and the carnival begins to change, conflict mounts with Arty’s ambition to control every aspect of the carnival, including the lives of the people in it.

Dunn’s ability to make the reader feel for the characters was very impressive, although most of the characters were anything but lovable.  They all had very apparent flaws.  Arty was self-centered and controlling.  Elly had a hair-trigger temper.  Olympia was effectively a human doormat, and so was Iphy to a lesser degree.  Chick was extremely fragile and afraid of offending or hurting anyone, or even of allowing them to feel pain.  The reader begins to understand (if not agree with) each character on a personal level, and to feel for each one.  This is the type of book that will stick with you long after you’ve read the last page, and the characters will linger in the back of your mind for days, like paper ghosts.

Throughout the book, mingled with the character drama and poignant commentary on what truly makes a person freakish, is a steadily growing feeling of helplessness as the reader watches everything comfortable and familiar to the Binewskis slip away.  This is especially apparent from Oly’s viewpoint, as she seems to be the person who changes the least over the course of the story.  While the twins mature, Arty becomes more immersed in his amputee cult, Chick uses his supernatural talents to become a surgeon, and their mother Crystal Lil sinks into dementia, Oly keeps to her duties as the family workhorse.  At the ending climax, the reader finds himself wondering how things went so far off track.

I have to say that I adored this book.  However, even with as much thought and detail as was put into the rest of the novel, the ending was extremely abrupt.  The reader is left wondering, “Whoa, what happened?”  The entire climax is summed up in only a couple pages, with very little explanation given for the events that took place.  It segues awkwardly into a story that, up until that point, has been deliciously detailed and thoughtful.  It’s like ending a rich, gourmet meal with cheese-whiz on crackers.  It cheapened an otherwise wonderful piece of literature.

Other than the ending, I can’t say that I have any complaints against Geek Love.  It was a terrific, tragic tale.  I can see it becoming an all-time favorite in my library.

The Learners by Chip Kidd

21 Tuesday Apr 2009

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The Learners by Chip Kidd

The Learners by Chip Kidd

If you’ve heard the name Chip Kidd before, it’s probably because you’ve read a book he’s worked on.  Not that he’s written many books; he’s only added the profession of author to his resume in the last couple years.  But he has gained notoriety by designing book jackets for everyone from Michael Crichton to David Sedaris, and some authors have him exclusively under contract to design their book covers.  He’s been called the closest thing to a rock star in graphic design.  This guy is good at what he does.  The Learners is his second novel, and though he displays a skill with words as adept as that with which he wields a drawing pencil, The Learners leaves readers feeling somehow unfulfilled.

The Learners is set in New Haven, Connecticut in the early 1960’s.  If you’re a psychology student, you might remember that this was the same time and place in which Stanley Milgram did his obedience experiments at Yale (you know, the ones where a person would have to ask questions and administer shocks of increasing voltage for each wrong answer, unaware that the person screaming in pain in the next room was really an actor).  Anywho, the story deals with Happy, a graphic design major who finds himself a job at an advertising agency in the Yale town.  After designing Milgram’s ad, Happy becomes intrigued with the experiment when he learns of its connection to a deceased college sweetheart.  He becomes a participant, and then deals with the horrible realization that he may be capable of murder.

This book had a lot of potential, but it never really paid off.  The characters were great (Sketch, the artistic genius who never really went anywhere, and Tip, the inquisitive, sexually ambiguous writer).  Kidd offers a lot of insight to the human psyche, and its response to content and appearance.  The scenes were beautifully described, with the right twists of humor and ambiance.  I even enjoyed the dialogue, which was sprinkled with natural nuances that most authors ignore.  However, it just never goes anywhere.  Just as the plot begins to pick up, the novel ends, and you’re left with a feeling of, “Now what?”

I would really like to see Kidd attempt a more involved storyline, and I’m still interested to read The Cheese Monkeys, his prequel to The Learners (they don’t have to be read together; I didn’t feel at any point during the story that I was missing any vital information by not reading the first novel).  This is certainly an author that I want to keep an eye on.  I really think that if he puts more into a plot, he could be as famous in the world of literature as he is in the world of graphic design.

The Wasp Factory by Iain M. Banks

06 Monday Apr 2009

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The Wasp Factory by Iain M. Banks

The Wasp Factory by Iain M. Banks

I picked up this book because I saw it included in a list of most disturbing books.  At first, I couldn’t figure out why.  In the beginning, I found it to be a little overly-detailed (really, I don’t need to know the details of the main character’s bathroom habits, especially if they don’t add anything to the story).  As the story progressed, I understood a bit more.  It’s a tale about a very fucked up individual who does a lot of very fucked up things.  Sadly, though, there’s not much more of a plot than that, and The Wasp Factory just kinda fizzles out like a dud firecracker.

Frank Cauldhamme lives alone with his father on an island.  Sometimes he goes into town to buy supplies, or to get drunk with his dwarf friend Jamie.  But for the most part he occupies himself with rituals.  Checking and refreshing his sacrifice poles.  Regular warfare against the rabbit population.  And a daily sacrifice to The Factory, which may warn him of impending danger.  Frank’s routine is interrupted when he hears of his brother’s escape from the insane asylum a few towns over.  As he prepares for his brother’s return, Frank discovers things that may forever change the way he sees the world and himself.

The Wasp Factory was slow to get going, and didn’t really start holding my attention until about 3/4 of the way through the book.  And though it did get a little more exciting toward the end, it doesn’t make up for the lack of plot.  There are a lot of flashbacks, a lot of talk about Frank’s personal philosophy, and a lot of explanation of his bizarre rituals.  But the only progressing thread throughout the book is the slow journey of Frank’s brother Eric, which the reader only hears about in short phone calls.  And even that part of the story, which you’re expecting to come to some spectacular climax, has almost no payoff.

I enjoyed some of the ironies of the story. How the narrator, an individual with some deep-seated mental issues, regularly refers to his disturbed brother as insane. Also, the little detail of the narrator’s hatred for women, and how it clashes with his eventual discovery of his true identity.

Overall, The Wasp Factory was well-written and memorable, though I would have enjoyed it more if it had had more relevant plot substance.

House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski

30 Monday Mar 2009

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I just want to know, why the hell didn’t someone tell me about this book before?  I have to say that when I first heard about it recently, I was extremely intrigued by the concept and couldn’t wait to read it.  And when all is said and done, I honestly don’t know if I loved or hated this novel.

Imagine a house that is larger on the inside than it is on the outside. Not only that, the house also changes and moves as it pleases. This is the setting for The Navidson Record, a film created by photojournalist Will Navidson when he moves to Ash Tree Lane with his partner Karen Green and their two children. At first, the house is a dream come true, their ticket to a new and peaceful life as a real family. Then they notice the door. It should lead to their back yard. But it doesn’t. It leads to a dark, cold hallway, which leads to dark, cold, featureless rooms, more hallways, and a spiral staircase that seems to have no end. Navidson begins organizing explorations of the house, which are at first tantalizing and maddening. As they go on, however, Navidson will find that the house takes away more than it gives up.

House of Leaves is written in the format of a researched thesis on The Navidson Record complete with footnotes, appendices, and an extensive index. Well, that’s pretty cool for a work of fiction. Danielewski must have put a lot of patience and diligent work into this. Oh, look at that, colored words and backwards text. Intriguing. I especially like how the text format during the explorations mirrors the claustrophobia and remoteness of the depths of the house (i.e. small boxes of text getting smaller as Navidson crawls down a narrowing tunnel). That’s pretty nifty, really gets you into the story. And coded messages? Wowee!

No, seriously, this book drove me nuts. I don’t have the words to tell you how it frustrated and overwhelmed me. Not the format, that part was actually pretty cool. I can dig the skewed/flipped paragraphs and oddly arranged text. And I even thought I did a pretty good job keeping up with the multiple story lines. It was more the part where the story would really get going, and then Danielewski would throw in twenty pages about the legends of the Minotaur, or about the myth and mechanics of echoes. The footnotes, while a neat touch, were often just distracting and irrelevant. The story skips around a lot, and it’s difficult to keep all the facts straight. I feel like I should have been taking notes while reading it. Not to mention how many unanswered questions the story leaves you with.

I loved the story itself. It was haunting and suspenseful, and even with all the loose ends it left, I enjoyed the ending. I’ll probably read it again, because as much as it drove me crazy, I did appreciate it.  Danielewski has some real talent, and once I’ve recovered from his first clusterfuck of a book, I would like to check out more of his work.  I would recommend it to anyone who enjoys a challenge in their reading. And if this review seems lackluster at all, it’s because House of Leaves has left my brains scrambled.

Mirror Mirror by Gregory Maguire

25 Wednesday Mar 2009

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Mirror Mirror by Gregory Maguire

Mirror Mirror by Gregory Maguire

The critically acclaimed author of Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West brings us another fairy tale re-imagining in the form of Mirror Mirror, a retelling of the classic Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.  Falling somewhat short of the high bar set by Wicked, Mirror Mirror makes up for in vivid imagery what it lacks in character development.  Did…did that opening sound pretentious and douchebaggy?  Okay, good.  I think that means I’m doing this right.

Set in the hills of Italy, Mirror Mirror follows the misfortune of Don Vicente de Nevada and his young daughter Bianca.  Their quiet life on their plantation Montefiore leaves them unprepared for the arrival of Cesare Borgia and his sister Lucrezia–and the impossible quest that they have in store for Don Vicente.  He unwillingly leaves his daughter in the care of the unsettlingly attractive Lucrezia.  Perhaps not the best choice.  Out of jealousy of her brother’s attention to the pretty young Bianca, Lucrezia sends the young girl into the wilderness to die.  As you might expect, she does not die, but falls under the care of some decidedly un-Disneylike dwarves.  What follows is a tale as surprising in its originality as it is faithful in its homage to the classic Snow White tale.

I loved Gregory Maguire’s decision to use Lucrezia Borgia as the wicked queen.  Infamous for her lethality, mystery, and beauty, the historical Lucrezia was a fairy tale in and of herself.  To write her into this classic story was a great move.  Mirror Mirror portrays Lucrezia as proud, headstrong, and confident.  She is capable of love, but is too instilled with cold ruthlessness to show it.

The dwarves–eight of them in this version–are very interesting as well.  Stone golems with a home that is as much a character in the story as they are.  I have to say, though, that they fit a little oddly into the story.  The way they referred to the human world almost with disdain made it seem unlikely that they would be so interested in the well-being of a young girl.  Perhaps they were just more complex than I thought.

Which brings me to Snow White–or Bianca de Nevada in this story.  Though she is the center of the plot, Bianca seems to be a secondary character in Maguire’s novel, behind Vicente and Lucrezia.  I would have liked to see her character developed a bit more, but she came off as rather bland and one-dimensional.  No personality at all.  Just a plot device attached to a pretty face.

The romantic in me was disappointed in the lack of a Prince Charming in this story. It seems like Maguire noticed this at the last minute and shoved another character into that role, to a rather forced and unromantic effect.

I very much enjoy Maguire’s writing style.  His language is colorful and poetic without coming off as too flowery.  It’s one of the saving graces of the novel, and it’s what keeps me going back to read his work.  He is able to paint a picture with words, so rich and vibrant that I almost feel like I could reach through the pages and pluck a branch from one of the olive trees in Montefiore.

While the overall effect that Mirror Mirror had on me was disappointment, I appreciated the novel for its adept imagery and the fresh twist it gave to a classic tale.  Though that seems to be Maguire’s shtick.

Bloodsucking Fiends: A Love Story by Christopher Moore

23 Monday Mar 2009

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Bloodsucking Fiends by Christopher Moore

Bloodsucking Fiends by Christopher Moore

After slogging through the abomination that was Twilight, I wasn’t looking forward to another vampire love story.  However, Christopher Moore’s Lamb was one of the funniest books I’ve ever read, so I was willing to give Bloodsucking Fiends a try.

C. Thomas Flood is a young man from a small town in Indiana, just moved to San Francisco to try to make it in the world as a writer.  After landing a job managing the troublesome but lovable night crew at Safeway (with some help from the homeless Emperor of San Francisco), he finds his muse in a gorgeous redhead named Jody, who turns out to be a little more than he bargained for.  Like how she has a notable lack of body temperature, and needs to feed off of him every few days.  Not to mention her dangerous vampiric stalker, who keeps leaving bodies near their apartment.  Tommy is sure that she’ll break his heart, but that doesn’t stop him from doing everything in his power–including risking life and limb–to keep her.

This was a great light read.  It was poignant and funny, and the adorable romance will make you want to run around your house and cuddle random things.  Moore has a great way of juxtaposing the eloquent with the hilarious.  His characters were real and lovable.  Jody is logical and reserved, but finds herself doing a lot of uncharacteristic things as she discovers her new powers.  Tommy is romantic and naive, but still manages to be a natural leader.  The Emperor, an eccentric homeless man with his “army” of two stray dogs, really makes the book.

Even though I loved the story, I did feel like the main characters were thrown together too fast.  It was kinda like, “Hey, you’re hot.”  “Will you live with me?”  “Okay.  I love you.”  “Me too.”  There wasn’t really a get-to-know-each-other process, and I think that the story could have had more dimension if that had been included.

Aside from that, I can see this being a novel I will read again and again.  The best part?  It has a sequel.

American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis

21 Saturday Mar 2009

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American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis

American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis

There is just one word that I can use to accurately describe this book:  ROUGH. I had been meaning to read American Psycho for quite some time, and I found it to be the most disturbing book I have ever read, by long shot.  I thought that after Chuck Palahniuk’s Haunted, nothing could phase me.  I mean, nothing could possibly be worse than a guy getting his intestines sucked out his ass by a pool pump.  I was wrong.  Boy, was I wrong.

You have Patrick Bateman, an all-American guy who works on Wall Street, dines at the best restaurants, and loves his cocaine.  He has an upscale apartment in New York City filled with the latest, trendiest furniture and electronics.  He’s fit, handsome, and has a beautiful girlfriend who he cheats on with a friend’s beautiful girlfriend.  He’s just about got the perfect life.  Except for his hobby.  Seems Pat Bateman is a psychotic sadist, taking a terrifying joy in brutally torturing and killing…well, everyone.  Animals, the homeless, women, colleagues.  All the while everyone around him goes on living their dreamlike lives, wearing the trandiest clothes, going to the most exclusive clubs, teasing the homeless, and constantly mistaking everone for everyone else.  It makes you ask yourself, who is really crazy?

American Psycho takes a little while to get moving.  Ellis goes into extreme detail, listing the brands and colors of everyone’s clothing, entire restaurant menus, daily beauty regimens, and the features of Bateman’s state-of-the-art electronics.  It serves to establish the character’s obsessiveness and attention to detail, though I believe that Ellis could have cut many of the descriptions down to as much as half and still achieved the same effect.  It’s not a book for the impatient reader.

Many people read this book just for the gore.  There is plenty of it.  When I say that it’s rough, I am not kidding in the least.  Let’s just say that I will never look at a Habitrail the same way ever again.  Ellis goes into just as much detail with every murder as he does when describing the brand, material, and cut of a colleague’s attire, and describes it just as calmly.  In fact, it’s partly the calm tone in which he describes the murders that makes them so difficult to stomach.  And the way in which some of the people are killed is just horrific.  I…I can’t even say it, you just have to read it for yourself.  Anyway.  Yeah, it’s a really gory book.  However, it is also an impressive representation of the glitz and materialism of the eighties.  The Whitney Houston, the Oliver Peoples glasses, the Evian, and the lines of people waiting to do cocaine in the club bathroom.  It all contrasts startlingly with the bloody scenes in Bateman’s apartment.  You can’t have just the gory parts and leave the rest.  It just wouldn’t be as striking that way.

Regarding the film, this isn’t one of those books where you can just watch the movie and get the gist of it.  No, the movie doesn’t even touch the book.  I promise that this has nothing to do with my aversion to Christian Bale (he didn’t do too bad as Pat Bateman).  The film just doesn’t give the viewer the full measure of Bateman’s psychosis.  You don’t get to see him try to make meatloaf out of a girl’s corpse.  You don’t witness his helplessness as he realizes that he has to kill just to feel okay.  People said that this book was “un-filmable,” and while Hollywood gave it the old college try, it really doesn’t do the book justice.

While I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to read this book again (did I mention that it was rough?), I’m really glad that I did read it at least once.  My disturbing literature collection wouldn’t be complete without it.  And now I’m pretty confident that I can stomach any gruesome novel on the market.

Twilight: A Book For People Who Don’t Like Books

20 Friday Mar 2009

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Twilight by Stephanie Meyer

Twilight by Stephanie Meyer

If you don’t already know about Twilight…what rock have you been hiding under?  I feel that, with it’s unprecedented popularity, I should make it an early priority of this blog to set down my opinions on it.

If you haven’t read it, you probably know what it’s about.  Girl meets vampire, girl falls in love with vampire, there is a lot of overly sappy romance, and vampire saves girl from certain death by another vampire.  Not a whole lot going on, and I still can’t figure out how Meyer stretched that story to 498 pages.

Basically, Twilight is a novel for people who don’t read.  Case in point:  My cousin, who I don’t believe has ever finished a book in her life, loved Twilight.  Not to mention the million or so people I’ve heard say, “I’m not a big reader, but I really liked Twilight.”  If you’re actually a fan of literature, if you enjoy a good book, then please spare yourself the frustration and stay away from this series.

For one, there’s a significant lack of plot.  Here’s the first 350 pages:  “Bella and Edward like each other, but he’s a vampire and that complicates things. ”  That is basically it.  The only exciting part, the part where another vampire stalks Bella, doesn’t start until close to the end of the book.

As for the characters, they’re extremely one-dimensional.  Bella is a klutz with a pretty face, and Edward is serious and overprotective.  They’re overdramatic and very, very predictable.  That makes for quite the lengthy snooze fest.

All in all, Meyers has a weak writing style.  It reminded me a lot of RL Stine’s Fear Street series, which I loved when I was in elementary school, but which I recognize now has no real literary merit.  And while I’ll admit that the ten-year-old girl lurking in my psyche loved the romance, I’m not ten years old anymore and I can’t be appeased by a cute love story alone.  People keep telling me, “It’s a young adult book, it doesn’t have to be well-written.”  Yeah, not a good excuse.  Everyone is reading this book, so age isn’t an issue anymore.  Harry Potter, the phenomenon that a lot of people are comparing Twilight to, was also for young adults.  Harry Potter was written much, much better.  Same goes for Philip Pullman’s His Dark Materials trilogy, one of my favorite reads, also geared toward young adults.  Young adult fiction doesn’t have to lack substance.  If that’s Stephanie Meyer’s excuse for writing shit fiction, then she should find a new day job.

The other excuse for Twilight? “Well, at least it’s getting kids to read.”  Okay, I’ll allow that.  But only on the condition that it helps them move on to bigger and better books, from which standpoint they can look back on this soul-sucking insult to literature and say, “Man, I can’t believe I thought that was good writing.”  Reading is good.  But one can only get so much benefit from reading crap.  You can’t read the back of a cereal box and declare yourself well-read.

That’s my two cents.  I didn’t feel the need to go any farther than the first book, especially since I hear that it’s the best out of the four.  Maybe I’ll go back to the series when I really feel masochistic, but I don’t think it’ll be anytime soon.